I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be generous so naturally I went ahead and looked up how generous is defined

Generous: showing a readiness to give more than is strictly necessary or expected

That definition has opened a flood of thoughts over these past few weeks, what is necessary, what is expected, if generosity is the abundance what is the threshold it goes above and beyond from?

I have been working my way through Kat Armas new book Liturgies for Resisting Empire and it is stirring in me so many thoughts and with that what feels like new life, the premise of the book is “What does it mean to resist empire in a world obsessed with productivity, hierarchy, and control” and I keep circling back to the question “what does it look like to be generous in a world obsessed with productivity, hierarchy, and control” and it has me wrestling with so many thoughts and ideas.

The invitation that comes along with the book is to notice where imperial thinking has taken root in all of us, the ways dominance, dualistic thinking, and hierarchy have shaped how we see and act in the world, to understand how it came to be, and then to make intentional choices that move toward healing and connection, what does that mean for generosity, for abundance, for giving

For me generosity isn’t just about what can be given, it’s about noticing where scarcity and hierarchy have been normalized and choosing to act differently, empire tells us we have to hoard, measure, control, that some people deserve more than others, that light only shines in certain places, this invitation to resist empire opens a different kind of giving, a giving that says it is possible for everyone to have access to light, care, and abundance.

Abundance has started to feel different to me through this lens and I don’t really have all my thoughts resolved because the truth is abundance hasn’t really meant extra for me, it hasn’t looked like a big overflow, it has looked like survival and maybe a half step beyond, and it has definitely looked like a few people saying yes over and over again.

The Giving Gifts at this point is entirely dependent on the generosity of a very small group of people who have kept it and literally me afloat. When I started this work I was SO determined to not be in this situation, to not be fully dependent on this type of giving, it felt unreliable, and risky. I thought wanting sustainability, predictability, and control was wise and a sign of a healthy organization and as I sit with this new understanding of generosity, something in me is beginning to shift, a kinda new invitation for myself and for others, an invitation that is scary in some ways and freeing in others

As I look ahead for myself and for The Giving Gifts I see an abundance of ideas, relationships, needs, possibilities, I also notice a deeply ingrained belief that I need to shrink the vision to match the resources I already have, to be reasonable, cautious, and responsible. I keep noticing how much of that belief has less to do with wisdom and more to do with fear. Yesterday, sitting on the side of the road with my car broken down, I realized the thing that scared me most was recognizing that I was in fully over my head and needed to ask for help. I had to ask my neighbor to call for help,
I had to ask an entire family to give up their plans for their time, I may need to ask someone for money. I had to name all of the needs out loud, and I am sharing this not because I have figured it out, I am sharing this because I am in it, all the time, rethinking, unlearning, transforming, noticing that generosity is not only about giving, it is also about letting myself be helped, noticing that this is the work of staying in the abundance even when it is uncertain.

I think that is where generosity becomes radical, it is not transactional, it is not performative, it is fully relational. Generosity means that abundance is never finite, the gift of giving abundantly means it never truly depletes, the more we let light shine, the more room there is for others to shine alongside us, it is the same light John writes about, the Word, the life, shining in the darkness, not to erase it, but to meet it, move through it, illuminate it in ways that transform.

So when I think about what it means to be generous, I keep coming back to this, it is personal, imperfect, a little frantic sometimes, full of possibility. Every act of generosity no matter how small or how big is a way of putting into practice how we view the world and our place in it. Maybe the gift of this season is that invitation to notice where we have been held and notice where we can hold others. Giving what we can in ways that feel possible, abundant, and real, and letting ourselves be held along the way.

I thought this update might end with an ask, inviting you to consider a year-end gift to The Giving Gifts, and the truth is that isn’t feeling right in this moment. What feels more honest is sharing this reflection, sharing what generosity is teaching me, sharing the ways I am literally needing to held right now and the ways I hope to continue to hold others.

I hope that something here sparks a thought for you about where your light might shine this season in ways big or small and ways that may surprise you, noticing the abundance around you, noticing the ways giving and receiving can ripple through all communities, noticing the ways we are all in this together, showing up for one another, offering what we can and receiving what we need. Here is what I will ask for, if you’re still with me at the end of this email, let me know. This email feels a little extra vulnerable, can you just hit a response via email, text, whatever with a “I see you”, that would mean a whole lot.

And what I can give you, over the next two weeks I will be working on communicating the vision that has been given to me for 2026 and what is tangibly needed to bring that to life. I will also be working on a christmas card of some sort for you all and as always I am here (literally stuck at the casita for the unforeseeable future, haha dramatic), if you want to chat I would LOVE that. If this stirs something in you, tell me! If I it pisses you off, tell me! If it moves you to make a million dollar donation, tell me!

What a gift it is to be navigating this weird world at the same time was you.

MVP of the weekend

I know it sounds so silly to say I learn so much through Sol, I just really do. This dog patiently sat by my anxious self yesterday for over four hours. I am constantly learning from the way she experiences joy wherever she is. I am just so thankful for her. I am also so thankful I got to snap this picture. A place along the drive I have always wanted to stop, not totally under the circumstances I had imagined but here we are!