How was saturday…
So many of you followed up from this past weekend and I am seriously so thankful for that. If I have not responded to that text yet here ya go haha.
I think I needed to let the beautiful and whole experience settle before responding. The day was incredibly beautiful. I usually arrive pretty early and unload my car, get sol geared up in her shirt, and just take a minute just to settle in. In some ways this is my favorite part of the day. Idont know, there is just something so special about arriving to a pretty empty beach and anticipating what is to come.
This cleanup was a little different because we added an entire bazar/market component. I wish I could sit here and say that I stayed settled in the entirety of the day but that would be far from the truth haha. I felt so secure going into the day and within that first hour I experienced so much internal franticness. “Will people come” “will people buy enough” “does everyone feel needed” “does everyone feel valued” “should I move the entire cleanup setup from the beach to the brewery” “it all feels so separated” “who do I ask fro help” “can I ask for help” “I dont want to ask for help “I actually really need help” “I screwed up this, and this and that”….SO MANY questions were screaming in my head.
And let me just tell you…
All of that was happening in my mind and outside of my mind there was this incredibly beautiful event taking place that honestly I almost missed.
It wasn’t until I was sitting my car, after everything had been packed up, where tears of gratitude streamed down my face. Because the thing is, thank GOD nothing is in my control hahaha. If It had been I think the day would have looked a bit different. We can only plan so much, have the details figured out, send all the invites, and then take a step back, because at the end of the day the impact is always out of our hands.
A lesson I feel like I am learning constantly and will probably be learning forever.
Whatever this holiday season holds for you, moments of joy, moments of uncertainty, moments of panic, moments of grief, moments where you question if what you’re doing really matters…I hope you find yourself surprised by goodness. I hope you notice the impact happening right in front of you and I hope you feel deeply connected to the communities you’re part of. I know this is cheesy and nothing I can say more heartily, I hope you KNOW and trust that YOU are such a gift. I hope this for you and I both.
