We’re heading into a big week and I wanted to take a minute to share a bit of where I’m at because I’m really excited… and I’m also a little nervous.

This Saturday is our 2nd Annual World Ocean Day cleanup and celebration. I think it will be so much fun…we’ll have the beach cleanups, music, crafts, games, food, community, and the whole thing wraps with a raffle with prizes from 18 or so local businesses! This year, for the first time, we’re sharing a fundraising goal alongside it.

And if I’m honest… it’s kinda bringing up a lot for me.

This is actually the first time in the lifespan of The Giving Gifts that we’re publicly fundraising for something specific. We’re dreaming about building a trailer…something simple, functional, and really helpful. Right now, every single cleanup gets packed into my little car, and we’re at full capacity. The vision for the trailer would help us expand our supplies, share them with other groups and schools, and keep showing up in new EXPANSIVE ways.

Inviting people into this opportunity is bringing up a really old fear in me. A fear I know well.

The fear of not having enough, especially financially, is something I’ve carried since I was little. I grew up with instability, and even though God and I’ve done a lot of work around that, there are still moments where the scarcity creeps back in. That voice in my head saying that asking is too much, that thinking too big is dangerous, that you can only do what you can carry by yourself.

Slowly over the last two years, something in me has started to shift. Not in a magical, everything’s perfect now kinda way. I still feel the weight of the what-ifs. I still catch myself bracing for the bottom to drop out. I’m just learning to see abundance differently. Not as excess, but as enoughness, enough for today, for this step, for what’s here right now.

I think the fear of “Will I have enough for tomorrow?” is slowly being replaced with… “Okay, I do have enough for tomorrow…can I let myself imagine about the future?” As if planning too far ahead might signal that I’m ungrateful for the now. Like wanting more is somehow a betrayal of the girl who learned to make things work with less.

And maybeee thinking in an expansive way doesn’t mean I’m discontent or not so incredibly grateful. Maybe it means I believe in what’s possible beyond scarcity. It means I care enough to want this to keep going. It means I am learning that its okay to trust that my needs are met and that my desires still matter.

Also…and I need to say this clearly…I absolutely could not do any of this without the support around me. I could not pay rent, I could not wake up and love the work I do, I could not cut up fresh fruit and meal prep chicken, I could not write the book I’m writing or get to say yes to so many things from coworks to cleanups to community without the people that have continued to say yes we will support you and I carry that with SO MUCH GRATITUDE.

So this week, as I step into something new I just want to say thanks for being part of this little experiment in community, creativity, and care. We’re figuring it out as we go, and I really do believe we’re building something good and so beautiful.

With so much thankfulness,
Cas